Bruce's Shirt
by evillives4evr
Summary: In which Joker seeks Batman's help in the matter of learning how to fall asleep. Some mild Batman/Joker concepts. Rated M for naked clowns. It's my first fanfiction, concrit is more than welcome.


A deep nervous feeling clenched at his insides, he wasn't supposed to be here, this was out of bounds. He was given permission as a reward for good behavior, but it still felt forbidden, unnatural. So the Joker stood in the downpour, having climbed up to the balcony doors, attempting to hide in the shadows. His body had long started shivering and his clothes were plastered to his skin making his already exhausted body heavier. His hair, drenched was making him resemble a drowned rat. He stared inside watching the sleeping form of his nemesis; too afraid to progress any further he contemplated how he got in this predicament.

He had never slept, not for as long as he can remember, he only snatched a couple of minutes rest every fortnight or so when his body literally couldn't hold consciousness anymore, or when the Bat beat him into the dreamless sleep. Sometimes, when the Arkham staff saw it fit they would give him enough sedative to knock him out. Although that came with its risks, to have that effect you would have to pump him with enough chemicals to kill five or more fully grown men, and as resistant as Jokers body is to drugs it has its limits, he can only take so much before he'll slip into the sleep that there is no return from. More than once Batman has visited and saw the madman in such a state as to be choking on his own spit or vomit or overdosed to such an effect that there is barely a breath left in him. The ones responsible soon found themselves under investigation, little to nothing became of it though. The corrupt system deemed it unworthy that those mistreating such a creature as the Joker should be punished for it. The immense level of insomnia would cripple or kill a normal mind but for the Joker it was standard, he could live with those sparing moments that could be called rest. However as of late those moments became few and far between… increasingly so, it was in the middle of the second month without having passed out and his body was feeling it. His mind despite having no respite was holding up, but it was straining. The drugs weren't having much effect other than to make him nauseous and groggy, which only exacerbated the problem. He began to use his remaining energy to formulate an escape plan, which wasn't difficult in theory, he had a track record of escaping the madhouse on sometimes a weekly basis, but with the added stress of exhaustion hovering over him he had to concentrate even harder.

He escaped the next day with little to no fuss and once in his safe house he started scheming to make his Bat come out and play. Despite coming up with several plans over the course of the night they were all discarded, considered by the clown prince too meager to bother the bat with. The next few days came and went with the same result and with the third month in sight his exhaustion was at it's peek, he was considering banging his head against the wall until he was on his back. Anger boiled inside him and he marched out to confront the Bat, plan or no he would search along his patrol line, yes he had memorized it, and he would march up to his nemesis, apologize for not being at his best, and then sock him in the jaw. That would get his attention and probably the same response, and though he felt bad that he would be using his darling Bat not for their usual fun and games but for is own wellbeing, he decided he would make it up to him later by destroying half the city.

Joker found himself not so much strolling or stalking his way through the Batman's usual route, but staggering his way like a drunken stick figure, looking like he's spent his nights on the streets, trying to focus enough to spot this other half. As it was it was the other way around.

"Joker?" came a gruff and confused growl from behind him. Joker spun around, almost loosing his balance, it took him a moment to settle. The bat took in his appearance, from the disgruntled and mismatched clothing the Joker had managed to pull on to his tousled hair and to his bloodshot and dark rimmed eyes. Batman was startled though he chose not to show it outwardly, the Joker always took great pride and care in his appearance, unless….

"Joker, are you drunk?" Batman asked incredulously. The clown swayed a little before straightening himself up with effort, "Don't be absurd Bats, I've never been drunk in my life." Joker stumbled trying to get closer to his enemy "Now stay still 'till I punch you okay?" Batman raised his eyebrow at Jokers innocently asked question and dodged the sloppily thrown punch, a twinge of worry shooting through his system.

"That was pathetic Joker, I've expected better from you." Batman said stoically in order to mask his discomfort at seeing his enemy in this state, the Joker bowed his head in what seemed to be genuine shame; "I'm sorry Bats, I tried to come up with ideas, it's just I haven't passed out in a while." The Joker raised his eyes to the Batman's with his head still bowed in one of the sorriest pitying expressions he had ever seen grace the maniacs face. Batman shifted "What do you mean? Why don't you just sleep?"

"I don't sleep Batman." Came the clowns reply, "I have never slept. I only pass out from time to time." The joker frowned, he didn't like telling Batman this, he didn't want Batman to think him weak, he didn't want Batman to see him in this state, but when needs must.

Batman knew from the Jokers files at Arkham that the clown had severe insomnia but he didn't know that it went to that extent.

"When was the last time you passed out?" Batman asked trying to sound indifferent.

"Nearly… three months." He answered looking away. This was embarrassing; he didn't know how to do something that even an infant could grasp. When he enquired his so-called doctors on the methods of sleep they would insist that it was natural to them, instinctual, that there was in fact no method to it. No step-by-step process to get to controlled unconsciousness. That it just happened. Joker refused to believe this, thinking they must be keeping something from him until he asked Harley, and Harley would never lie to him… she knows better.

Joker while enjoying the fact that he doesn't need as much rest as everyone else hated the fact that he couldn't control when his body decided when it should gain those so few moments of rest. More than once he fell unconscious when battling the Batman, much to his enemy's confusion, or collapsed when midway into making a bomb only to wake up a couple of minutes later sporting severe burns from the soldering iron. He wanted the same control everyone else had on the matter making sleep depravation management the one therapy session he was willing to cooperate in. As it happens it didn't do anything for him. He had tried everything with no progress including drugs, cognitive behavioral therapy, hypnosis, counting sheep and even aromatherapy among other things.

He just couldn't sleep.

Batman raised his eyebrows in surprise, "How are you still functioning?" he asked genuinely astounded. The Joker laughed bitterly, "I'm not sure Batman, but if you do me a favor and knock me out we can get back to our usual games in no time." A warm, almost innocent smile made it's way onto the Jokers features only serving to offset Batman further.

"Why can't you sleep?" Batman asked.

"No one will tell me how." Joker whined, his face taking on the shape of a boy's who was told he could have what he wanted. Joker looked up, anxious hope etched onto his features "You sleep, don't you Bats?"

Batman nodded. Joker licked his dry lips nervously "Can…can you teach me how?"

"What?!" Batman asked incredulous. Quickly Joker explained all the techniques he'd tried with no success pleading his enemy to help him, knowing full well how disgusted he was with himself at having to resort to this, asking his Bats to help him sleep.

"If you'd tried those things, what makes you think I could help you, never mind want to help you?" Batman asked.

"Another technique the doctors told me to try was sleeping beside someone who I felt comfortable with, someone I could trust… someone who makes me happy. I had tried it with Harley to no avail, heh, not surprisingly. But… maybe if… if" The Joker tapered off, he didn't need to finish, Batman knew what he was getting at, but was he willing to help his enemy?

Batman thought about it, there was a high chance that it wouldn't work, but if it did it could bring with it great benefits, it might help stabilize the Jokers mind, make him at least calmer, even if it didn't a clown that was asleep was not up causing havoc. Batman thought of the awful things that Joker has done and whether he deserved peace of mind, and then rationalized that this might pave a way to the Jokers rehabilitation. The fact that he had promised long ago that he would try and help the madman, soon finding it impossible to do so, the maniac being totally unrepentant and so mentally unstable as to have almost every disorder and then some on his record. Now being presented a way to perhaps even just shave a bit of that insanity off, even just a little, it might help the poor bastard. His nemesis, his friend in need.

He studied the Joker, green emerald eyes were gleaming at him in the dark flicking to study his own for any sign of agreement, his teeth were worrying his bottom lip. The Joker wasn't playing, he wanted this and Batman knew it was serious enough for the Joker to overcome his pride and actually ask him for help. He could get other benefits if he was lucky.

"If we do this, and I'm not giving any guarantees for a successful outcome, but for a week before each time we meet for these sessions, because I doubt it'll be done in one, you will not kill, maim, steal or destroy anything do you understand?" Jokers eyes widened and a slow true smile worked it's way onto his face. Joker agreed to the terms, knowing that because he injured guards in the escape from Arkham he would have to wait until the following night to attempt sleep.

"Were shall we do this?" Joker asked "And at what time?"

Batman paused and looked away; "You know who I am." It was a statement, an acknowledgement "Yes." Joker affirmed.

"Then come to my house at midnight tomorrow." And with that Batman jumped off the roof gliding into the shadows.

So it came to pass that the next day Joker was staring nervously into the balcony windows of Bruce Wayne's room at three o'clock at night, having been there since eleven o'clock. His head felt like it was splitting in two, but Joker could handle any pain, but the inner pain that came when he thought about doing this was much harder to swallow. He reasoned that he wouldn't go inside unless personally invited, it was against the rules being here, so others needed to be put in place for code of conduct, or so he rationalized. It had been so long that his nemesis had given up on him and turned in to gain his own sleep. He didn't want to wake him but he gathered his courage, raised his hand and knocked on the panes of glass.

His enemy quickly sat up in his bed looking to the source of the noise, Joker slowly stepped out of the shadows revealing himself. The light showed his outline but shadow hid his face, Batman knew who it was anyway, long had the silhouette of the clown been imprinted on his brain. The nerves that he had forced down and suppressed earlier that day surfaced once again, the absurdity of this scenario and the possible outcomes was painfully apparent. He had sent away both Robin and Alfred incase the madman were to cause them harm, Alfred had protested highly against his plans to bring the maniac into the house but Batman had politely declined his advice and sent him on his way. He was almost relieved when it came to midnight and the Joker had not called at his door, the Joker always made a point about being punctual and so Batman had determined that he either had second thoughts or perhaps he had finally passed out on his own. To see him standing outside his balcony doors mirroring a twisted tale of Romeo and Juliet, or a Vampire flick as the fiend waits to be invited into his victims abode brought a small chill to his spine. Bruce got out of bed, made his way over to the doors and observed the clown for a moment, he was soaked through and visibly shaking from the cold. Batman wondered how long he'd been out there. He unlocked and opened the doors stepping back, but the Joker made no move to enter but waited with an expecting look on his face. Realizing and shivering again remembering his earlier imaginings Bruce beckoned him in.

The joker stepped into the bedroom looking around him, swallowing, not sure on how to proceed.

"You're soaked." Batman said as he led the Joker over to his ensuite bathroom "Grab a towel and dry off, I'll try and get you some clothes." Complying, the Joker began to strip, slowly realizing that it was the Batman that told him to do so and a devilish grin worked it's way onto his face as he picked up the luxuriously soft and likely expensive towel on the radiator. The grin began to stretch when realizing further that this towel had been used recently by its owner, it was slightly damp, so raising the towel up to his face he began to dry off. Surreptitiously he breathed in the scent of the fabric, holding in a moan at the all too familiar feelings that the scent brought forth within him. The night might prove more interesting than a simple good nights rest. Being absolutely exhausted he had failed to take in that in doing this he would be indeed finally sleeping with the Batman. Although not in the fashion he had often envisaged, but the close proximity alone might cause things to get little awkward for his enemy, the image making it quite difficult to hold back the laughter that was bubbling up inside him. Drying the rest of himself off, relishing and taking his time with his genitals, thinking of where this towel has previously been he jumped when he heard a knock on the door. It opened a crack, having not been locked and Bruce's hand came through holding an old shirt.

"It'll be too big for you, but it's the smallest one I have." Batman said. "I'll try to find a pair of old sweat pants."

The Joker chuckled "Oh thank you Darling."

The Bat grunted his acknowledgment and the door closed once again. Slipping the shirt on the Joker regarded his reflection in the full length mirror, it was indeed extremely big for him but still fetching in a roughish kind of way, he thought to himself how so like an old girlfriend he was, parading around in her boyfriend's shirt. With his hair still damp he slicked it back and confidently strolled out of the bathroom, wearing only the open shirt and a devilish and seductive smirk. There was a wine glass on a small coffee table to his right, and an almost full bottle of wine next to it, there for entertaining his lady friends no doubt. He knew the Bat didn't drink, he had told him so himself and so knowing this his poured himself a glass and stood positioning himself seductively against the balcony door frame with his back to the room, waiting for the bat to enter. It wasn't long until Bruce did enter holding the pants and suddenly stopping looking at the man in front of him, wearing only the shirt he had given him he was standing in his room…. His nemesis naked in his room. He couldn't help glancing down at the perfect curve of the Jokers rear as the moonlight gleamed of his white skin giving him an unnatural light, something soft and delicate looking, something otherworldly, his almost feminine legs leading up to it enticingly. He forced himself to look away as the Joker sipped daintily from the wine glass, his head turning to gracefully look behind him. Not trusting his voice the Bat coughed, making his presence known thinking perhaps the Joker might show some modesty and try and cover himself. No such luck, the clown turned with a sultry curve on his lips giving Batman a view he'd never forget, the sleekest figure he'd ever seen with beautifully cut hips and a quite sizeable crotch.

Again he forced himself to look away putting forth a stoic expression, he admitted to himself that he had a strange attraction to his nemesis, a strange and dark attraction that he usually denied with a passion, dismissing it as too much adrenalin when they fought… but they weren't fighting now. Batman's body was beginning to acknowledge and respond to his other half even if his mind was reluctant to follow suit.

A dark chuckle escaped his enemy's throat "Like what you see bats?" Batman scowled, blushing furiously with no mask to hide it "If you still want to do this clown you'd better shut the hell up!" The Batman warned in dangerous tones, while chucking the pants at the clown unceremoniously "Put these on."

The Joker smirked and did as he was told, sitting bare assed on the bed looking up to the bat through his eyelashes, taking a sip from the glass then putting on the pants, raising his ass promiscuously before slipping the band over his thin hips. Batman swallowed hard before climbing into bed, the Joker soon following.

Trying to put as much distance between the clown and himself the Bat lay down, the Joker looking at him copied. There was silence for a while as the Batman closed his eyes trying to relax enough to let sleep once again envelope him.

"What comes next?" the Joker breathed the Bat opened his eyes to see a green pair glinting unblinkingly back at him.

"You close your eyes and fall asleep."

"Yeah…. But how?"

Batman sighed… this may be a long night. Right if the Joker wanted an analysis he'd get it.

"You slow and steady your breathing, heart rate and brainwaves until both exhaustion and the relaxation of the mind and body let you fall into unconsciousness."

"But… how do you reduce your heart rate and brainwaves?"

"You relax! Both your body and mind! That means try not to think of much if anything at all, and try not to move much."

"But I can't not think! My brain is too loud!... and it's difficult to stay still." The Joker pouted like a child.

"Look your going to have to try if you want this to work!"

Joker sighed and closed his eyes, he lay there for a while but his mind wouldn't stay quite and after an hour and hearing that his enemy had already beat him to the punch he got up ready to leave, sorry for wasting the Bats time. He'd leave and bang his head against the wall until he was on his back. It's what he should have done in the first place he reckoned, instead of embarrassing himself in front of his nemesis. It wasn't all bad though he reasoned, he caught the bat blushing when he saw his body and he'd lain with him without one punch being thrown. He smiled good naturedly admitting defeat and stood from the bed. The Batman awoke sensing the displacement from the mattress and looked over to see the Joker getting up.

"Were are you going?" the bat called.

"I'm sorry I wasted your time Bats. I've got to go."

"You're giving up?" Batman asked, the Joker looked around insulted, "It's not that I won't Bats it's that I can't….. I can't stop thinking."

"You just need to at least calm your thoughts Joker."

"Bats I don't know how, my mind doesn't work like yours."

The Batman sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, he got up also and made his way over to the toilet. "Wait here." He said before shutting the door, a minute later there was a flushing sound before the Bat emerged.

"Try and go to the toilet, it might help you relax better." Batman sighed getting back into bed. The Joker raised his eyebrow but did as he was bid before he too got back into bed. Batman moved his pillow further into the middle and beckoned Joker close whilst he lay down putting his arm out. With a genuine look of surprise and suspicion joker slowly crawled in beside batman laying his head in the crook of his arm, Batman's scent was prominent at this close proximity, he breathed it in smiling contentedly. Batman's hand came and ushered the Jokers head up to his chest, the clowns ear over his heart. It was Jokers turn to blush, his eyes wide as Batman started to thread his fingers through his hair, a muffled sound of surprise came from the Joker and Batman coughed before explaining. "My… mother used to do this for me when I had nightmares and couldn't sleep…. Which was frequently. She'd run her fingers through my hair and tell me a story and it would always send me to sleep."

The clown closed his eyes enjoying the feeling and the rhythmic sound of his enemy's heart. "Are you going to tell me a story Bats?"

Bruce frowned but agreed that he would "How about little red ridding hood?"

The clown tutted, "Oh come on Bats those stories are lame, tell something that's more, heh heh, to my taste." Batman's face scrunched in disgust but he conceded if only to get the clown to cooperate, then began weaving a tale of two enemies out to outdo the other in the most clever and imaginative ways to kill each other remembering to add a lot of moments of gore and pain in order to entertain his…. audience.

For the first time in his life the Joker felt himself relax, his heart soon mimicking the one in his ear, the close proximity and the hair playing creating an air of comfort and letting his muscles relax, the scent creating a feeling of familiarity and trust, and the soft low tones of his enemy soothing his brain, the story giving it something simple and linear to think apon rather than the jumble of conflicting and turmoilous ideas, emotions and thoughts that keep him always alert and on edge. His breathing soon became in synch with the Bat's slowing, along with his heart rate and brainwaves, until finally at 6:30 in the morning he fell asleep for the first time since he became the Joker almost 20 years ago. Batman looked at him sleep for a long time marveling at the fact that he looked so different, so at peace, you wouldn't think that this creature was responsible for thousands of deaths. Batman knew that he shouldn't feel okay for doing this, that he should feel ashamed and disgusted that this thing, this demon was in his bed. But that was it, he was a demon, Batman's demon, his incubus, there to cause equal amounts pain and pleasure and he needed him. There was no name for what they had, what they felt towards each other but it was powerful and unbreakable. He knew he would hate himself for doing this, he knew Gotham would hate him for doing this. But for now, fuck Gotham, he could feel guilty in the morning. With that thought in mind and with his nemesis in his arms he closed his eyes and fell, perfectly in synch, asleep with the joker.


End file.
